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On Purple Prose and Where it Comes From
current location: Should be sleeping, but I'm obviously not
current mood: tired
One of the best things I like about the ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
fanficrants community are the rants about sex in fanfiction. Especially the terminology used in some of these stories. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind reading about sex or sexual situations at all. Heck, I've even come across yaoi/slash fics that I thought were well done and that genre isn't one I'm into at all (I must be a rare female that doesn't care for yaoi...). I think I've found out part of the reason why some of these horrible terms which are so ranted about are also so common in fics though - spam adverts. Honestly, have you ever read the subject titles some of these wonders of spaminosity provide? I present to you a small selection of gems gleaned from my spam folder tonight while I was cleaning:
A few of these made me want to cross my legs in pain, one made me hungry and another sent me looking for an exorcist. In these 10 examples, the penis is compared to a sword, a demon, a mouse, a python, a sausage and a big rod. I'm not sure what to make of "manhood" because I've seen that word used so many times in bad (and sometimes good) romance novels it's almost required to be used at least once per any kind of story. Then there is the "kiss of womb" and "special hidden spots" ones... ow ow ow. Those just are painful sounding. And "whacking cock for Dominic" just made me laugh, because that sounds painful for the guys.
At least with inexperienced writers using words and euphemisms like these, I'll never have to worry about the porn being boring to read. It might be laughable and unintentionally hilarious, but I can't see it being too boring.
Disclaimer - for the record, I don't write porn of any variety (explicit, implied, whatever) in my stories because I know I wouldn't be good at it. While I might have no problems trying to imagine the scene, writing it down just isn't going to happen. And I'm fine with that.
